Meeting New People

When you meet a new person, always act really happy to have met them. Shake their hand, look them in the eye, and maybe crack a little joke. Like:

Did I ever tell you the joke about the cookie?

Ah, forget it- It's crummy.

That one always works.

Then, try really hard to remember what they look like. Do this while you're shaking their hand. Stare at them. Try to associate their appearance with the appearance of an animal. Usually, the animal is a marsupial, or some kind of extinct predator. Now, release their hand.

The next time you meet them, go, "Aaaaaah..." While nodding your head, like you remember who they are.

It never works.